Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Birth of a Miracle

I'm tinkering with G's meds.  This 9 month pharmacology journey defines our 2011.  What a wild ride it's been.  It is SO DIFFICULT to remember that it's the meds, or lack of them that causes his loud, violent, destructive outbursts.  Holy Moley, the way he's been acting/reacting mirrors his worst behavior when I decided to wave my white flag and try meds.  We all have bruises and sore bodies. I thank heaven he only shows this wild side with us, his family.  He lets is ALL out here.  What would the poor little guy do if he couldn't?   Many items are broken.  And irritation from screeching?  By the end of the night I'm so over it that watching tv is too loud.  Silence.  And watching G sleep and smooching him after he finally falls asleep at 1am, 2am, 3am.  Where he ends up is a mystery. Wherever he lands, it's all good with me.

Meds are tricky. Some work for a bit, then stop.  Some don't play well with other meds.  Some need to be fine tuned.  I got rid of one med and shrinking dose of another.  

I've been trying to lessen the need for a booster dose of ADHD meds in the evening which keeps him awake even more than his usual night-owl tendency.  And I just don't like so many drugs going into my kid, I'd like to keep it to a minimum. I try to give him his daily dose as late as possible before school and even later on non-school days.   

10:30 am: G screeching, jumping, chewing on his shirt...

"Mom, you forgot to Give Meeeeeeeee my MEDS!

Am I dreaming?  Is it? Could it be?  Has this 9 month haul given birth to G's first glimmer of self-awareness?  A miracle moment indeed.  It could be his first baby step on the long, winding uphill path of self-regulation.  Fingers crossed! 

I feel like throwing a party.  :)