Wednesday, March 4, 2015

We're All One of a Kind: Let's Ace It!

I was dealt a smooth ACE skipping around social media today...
Here's how a social media scan typically goes:
90% 》scroll
5% ×check/like/comment/scrap
3% >>share w/friend/social media/self
2% >>>Jump around site, intrigued

Sound about right?

I clicked an article about anxiety on Twitter, being highly relevant (eek!). I instantly fell into the author's personal raw admission and epiphany. Turns out, the author Hayden is an Aspie with a personal mission. He and a partner teamed up to support Aspies and coach them to self/life success. Further research (jumping around site!) needed, but I truly admire his heartfelt writing style and positive approach. From casual scan, they offer coaching services and paid video webinars (ages14+), as well as a host of helpful tips, Aspie-directed inspiring blog posts and free webinars on their site. Way to pay it forward, Asperger Experts!

I'd like to share Hayden's blog post that moved me emotionally, then compulsively (acceptance! hehehe) to share. Well done!

http://www.aspergerexperts.com/social/one-of-a-kind/

Recalls to mind this delightful Dr. Seuss quote, a favorite. Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

No one is
You-er
Than YOU!

Bravo, Asperger Experts, Hayden. Your fresh message was worth exploring...and sharing! Thanks for the hope and guidance you offer to the Autism Community.  :)
More info: www.aspergerexperts.com


Celebrate your quirks 

Celebrate your strengths

Celebrate your YOU-nique-ness!

(Perky)


Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Autism Hacks #14

Morning silliness sends G off to school in perky spirits. Crabby, uncooperative, slow? Just add laughs to spark a happy note.

He asked for a bowl of cereal... :)

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Autism Hacks #13

Sibs rock + G Challenge Winner! #13 is dedicated to my teens, because when they were young, they'd say being Autism Sibling brings "bad luck" at times. Nowadays, they roll with the best ASD teams I know. I'd love to deliver all the solutions, yet all I can do is offer positivity.

My 15 year old wanted to see a movie with his new girlfriend over mid-winter break. Big sis and I took G to see Spongebob while N and his girl went on their own. We filled up on popcorn and snacks so much that nobody wanted to go to eat. 

Shopping at Target was voted in. I promise I didn't suggest it, but who am I to argue? The kids perused the toy section, then wandered the books, snacks - landing in technology. I joyfully pranced off with my buggy. G kept hunting me down with new items he "had to have". M would soon follow, trailing G. After much debate, G finally chose a big nerf blaster to spend his Christmas cash. The kids regretfully ended their videos in the games section; once again I'd "closed" Target.

On the drive back to hang out at our house, the teens all pitched in to uncase G's new treasure. In the silence of their feverish project, G proclaimed to N's date,

" I love you more

than ALL of Nick's girlfriends!"

Smooth move, little Broski! 

We all cracked up after a brief uncomfortable pause, but I'm sure N was glad it was dark in the car. (Blush) :)

N's date survived the G Challenge, even taking a day trip with us to a fun museum later in the week. She jumped in and helped find my wandering (running) curious kiddo when I missed him a few times, without judgment. She exuded life and great humor and listened to G (and me) belt out several songs in our 2 hour road trip. She even joined in singing and got N to sing. What a trooper!

Autism Awareness is who we are. Anyone who becomes involved with us on a regular basis sees the challenges, the fun, the embarrassment, the LOVE. 

Welcome friend, to our Perky Quirks. My N is special because he's himself; so proud of my accomplished, smart, funny, hard-working volunteer and leader. My N is extraordinary because he's lived in a home filled with all that Autism brings. He's helped his brother achieve major milestones. We have DAILY struggles. My kids weather these difficulties too young, but we don't have options. Instead it strengthens us, toughens us, deepens us, challenges us. Fulfills us at times; depletes us more often. 

We do share a strong bond of Autism Code. We high five each other on small feats and outrageous wins and offer respite when the going gets tough. My kids have been mini-caretakers since G began running. My amazing kids are siblings first; yet strong advocates, diligent therapists, loving counselors. My kids are my children first; helpers and respite more often than I'd like. G's hot buttons are crowds, sensory, new environments, homework. Unfortunately, most outsiders see G in this heightened social/public state. His sensory meltdowns and erratic behaviors are what his sibs contend with in ALL family/social situations. We must take turns monitoring G and work as TeamASD. The frustration gets to me; I can't imagine the feelings of helplessness and humiliation for a teen sibling. Can you remember being a teen? EVERYTHING IS EMBARASSING! (especially with families!) Kudos to my great teens, Super Autism Sibs. They lead the way to awareness through outreach programs, but they soldier through daily drills and promote acceptance in our community and family. My teens are top advocates. Priceless. 

I so wish I could find a teen support group for N/M. They grew immensely in their 3 years with SibShops, which ended at age 12. Sadly, teen sibs are likely the most needy when it comes to expressing their frustrations and working through to positive solutions. I'm a natural coach/counselor; I can usually bug them until they share, I have my ways. But my kids could really BENEFIT from a strong outside outlet. I'm certain they have issues with me or that they don't want to share with me, understandably.

Call Out to someone: 

How do I start a ASD Sibs Teen Support Group?

Are there books, resources to share? Please do. I'll update with research/resources.

Until then, we spread awareness one over-stimulating event and embarrassing yet sweet comment at a time. Love my family and our collective Perky Quirks!

My deepest apologies to N's sweet date and dear N; G expresses himself honestly but awkwardly. Thumbs up from the whole fam!

Finally, thanks G for shining your sparkling gifts upon our family. We adore you!


Friday, February 27, 2015

Autism Hacks #12

Because he wanted to see the gizmo that made the robot blink on his lunchbox.

The best part is G's patch job.
Did he think Mom wouldn't notice? :)

Online shopping for an overpriced lunchbox in March...

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Adoptive Parent Conversation No-No's

Good read on common questions adoptive parents get asked and how they hurt:

http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-not-say-adoptive-parents/?socsrc=pmmtw

I find it flabbergasting how many strangers or distant acquaintances ask intrusive/rude questions about adoption. What I've gotten most often is: 

Quizzical stare at my fair complexion and back to my bronzed beauties,

"Are they yours?"


In a perfect world, I'd always be prepared with a snappy response. 
#1: Why? Do I look like a kidnapper?
#2: Why? Do you want to know?
#3: Why? Do you call my children "they"?
#4: Why? Do you ignore that "they" are right here?
#5: Why? Do you think you're creeping me out?


My fave fantasy comeback scenario to this comment; never had the guts...

Nosie Rosie, pointing to my kids:
"Are they yours?"

Me, pointing to her boobs:
"Are they yours?"

Truly, is that not on rank with this brazen personal question? Call it tit for tat, wink wink.


While these questions are difficult to navigate for us adoptive parents -
Please folks,
I beg you to have
a bit of compassion
and NOT ask
insensitive questions
in front of
MY CHILDREN.
yes, they're mine.
period.


Looking for adoption info, resources, advice, support?
Bring it! :)

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Autism Hacks #11

Say Cheese
Snow Day 2015, G's idea of a super snow day pose. 
Hot cocoa and bath followed. :)

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Autism Hacks #10

Mr. BIGSTUFF:
Who do you think you are?

ASD can be frustrating.
Tiny issues get blown into cyclones of distress. At times, everything is BIGSTUFF.

My sweet kiddo tries so hard; a tender loving heart. Infinitely heartbreaking to watch anxiety color his days.

New specs. Mid-winter break.
G's ready for a fresh outlook.
Let's focus on the smallstuff. 

Better yet, don't sweat any "stuff"

Focus on ability, love, acceptance, hope.

Color me in! :D