All in a Day's Quirks

 

G was invited to play at a (NT) friend’s house after their meet & greet morning in kindergarten class this morning.  His buddy wanted to ride in our car with G, so I listened with curiosity to hear what they’d talk about after meeting so many kids and getting acquainted with their teacher and classroom.  As we buckled up I asked, “How did you like your first day?  Did you see lots of kids you know?  What toy did you like best?”  They both gave short one word answers.  The boys then got engrossed in G’s cars and small toy assortment littering my mamavan floor. 

Despite everyone’s efforts to de-clutter family taxi, we NEED objets d’art (the finest art - of distraction!) for G.  I’ve tried many organization methods, but nothing really works well.  (feel free to share inexpensive ideas).  When my other 2 kids were younger, we had a wonderful system.  But G’s a different kid and I’m way more harried.  I usually help him pack a backpack with small items/books to keep in the car and change about once a week to keep his interest.  But G never seems to put all of them back – he hides them behind/under his seat or in cupholders.  But hey, who am I kidding, the toys are really for us.  Anything that keeps him busy and happy or distracts him when upset is good for the other passengers.  Lord help us the day his ailing, thrice cracked ipod touch finally bites the dust.  A piercing wail will be heard in several counties (me), and who knows how G will react.  The loss of a power cord/charger - or worse, his iTouch - is declared a family emergency.  But, I digress.  Soooooo…

K asks G, “What’s that thing?”  So I peeked in my rear mirror.  G had a Bath and Body Works Peace Sign ScentPortable that we keep clipped in the back seat.  G, in his teacher voice…

“This is for when someone FARTS. You hold it up to your nose and smell - real quick…like this,” he explained, demonstrating dramatically. 

“Here, you try it now,” as G waved it around K’s nose. 

“Oh.”  K replied.  Conversation over.

I prepared to be mortified if G decided to fully demonstrate their fresh effectiveness by “ripping one”, in the charming terminology used by my 12 year old.  I’m relieved to tell he didn’t. The moment passed and they went back to zooming the cars around. 

Boys will be boys.  Peace Out, Dudes!

 

http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=4147330&cm_sp=LN-_-Home+Fragrance-_-Scentportables&cp=4090259.4090324.4090327.4432044

 

Seeing Ezra
A Mother's Story of Autism, Unconditional Love and the Meaning of Normal
by Kerry Cohen

Autism Mother Follows Her Heart

Honest, real, tenacious. I feel the raw emotion, worry and frustration plucked straight out of my soul and heart and onto the pages. Autism's rippling effect of disability dis-ables every aspect of family life.  Motherhood: protect, serve, anticipate, support, love, research, counsel EVERYONE surrounding the child. Right now, right now, right NOW. Feel guilty for needing, frustrated for wanting, desperate for hope.

Absolutely loved it!  Cohen's story and writing resonates to my core.

5 stars out of 5


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1580053696/ref=cm_cr_rev_prod_title#_

http://www.kerry-cohen.com/about.html

Interview with Author:
http://www.king5.com/new-day-northwest/Author-of-Seeing-Ezra-Kerry-Cohen-132699263.html

Countdown to 1st day of school: 14 Days!

What will I do?
 
My day won’t be punctuated by my son N sneaking up to lean close to my ear and share a LOUD BURRRRRRRRRRRRP.  

It’s all about shock value.

He’s so 12.   

N with a ooey-gooey glob of caramel on his birthday. 

I struggled to round up G to get in the car, near the end of my patience after a 20 minute “let’s-get-ready-and-out-the-door” scramble. I spotted him squatted down in the driveway and hurried over to get him moving. 
“Look what I found!  A illegal feather!!!”, G squealed happily as he jumped up and waved his treasure.

G Translation???

Furrowed brow, I asked, “Why is it illegal?”

G: “It’s FROM illegal!”

A-ha! …ah-ha-ha-ha
Got it.

Poor G has a yucky virus. Nothing worse than a summer cold. He started antibiotics and had a day of feeling much better yesterday, but is all clogged up again today.

“When I lay down,                     more boogers come into my nose.”

I love that simple “body aware” observation, and that he communicated it so well. He’s becoming more in tune with his body’s feelings and expressing them more frequently.

G’s in touch with his inner boogers! How Oprah.

Go G, booger down!


In case you wonder the same thing (like I did), here’s a simple explanation:

Gravity

• CT scan of sinus cavities
  Sinuses are small airbags, found in the bones of the face. When they cannot drain properly, it is very difficult to breath through your nose. This problem can worsen at night when you lay down. Gravity plays a role in sinus drainage. While in a lying position, the sinuses may drain down the back of your throat, causing irritation. If you lay on one side or the other, the sinuses will drain to that side, making it difficult to breathe through the nose.

Read more: Why Do Noses Get Stuffy at Night? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5367310_do-noses-stuffy-night.html#ixzz1VUa6oXcP

A fine video highlighting the stark reality of Autism.  Please share this to raise awareness.

 
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
Henri Nouwen

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
Edward W. Howe

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Oprah Winfrey

I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.
Thomas A. Edison

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.
Marlene Dietrich

It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.
Epicurus

A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away.
Bil Keane

Thank you dearest friends, for being there when I need you.  I have a difficult time seeking out help. I believe that the biggest misconception is that someone has the ability to reach out when they are deeply troubled.  Often it’s this point at which we are most isolated.  We wonder who will understand our troubles.  My close friends know my incredible strength, know that when I ask for help it must be very very painful.  The smallest of gestures can make the difference between despair and hope.

Blessings to you - my family of friends - who came to my side without question or judgment. You are held close to my heart.

Your support means the world to me.  YOU mean the world to me.  I hope that I may return our beautiful friendship boomerang in YOUR hour of need.

I asked G what he wants to be when he grows up. 
He said, "A prisoner!"

I asked,
"Why, what will you do?"

He replied,
"I want to be the boss of everything, everywhere!"

I thought for a minute,
"Do you mean the President?"

"Yes, the Prisoner!"  He exclaimed.

I hope his kindergarten teacher doesn't ask that
on the 1st day of school... 

 

Every once in awhile I get caught up in ridiculous “normalism”.  That is, thinking in a logical manner or insisting upon something that simply DOES NOT MATTER.  I think my brain can only handle so much random, chaos, unknown and “isms” until I crack and hyper-focus on silly mundane points. 

My daughter bought a Happy Napper with her allowance money yesterday during our girl’s night out shopping (love to bond with my darling daughter, easy-brightly-smiling-tween and loads of fun).  She’s in the funny stage of being too old for some things, yet not for others.  I’m thinking these are ok because they’re useful?  Who knows.  Some of her friends still play with Barbies, so I’m ok with a pillow.  I’m in no rush for heels and makeup.  So, M picked the pink LadyBug, which she called LoveBug.  Later at bedtime I asked her if she’d named it yet, and we set about suggesting names and voting.  She decided Lulu the LoveBug was best.  Cute! 

G had gotten one about a month ago, after begging for one for a couple months.  He wore me down (and I must admit they’re cute). See G happily sticking his tongue out like his doggie Happy Napper in the shopping cart after Tae Kwon Do.  He tried to slide the gold lion in – hmmm - it mysteriously disappeared.     I forget what he named his then, if at all, it was fleeting.  He’s not big into personalizing stuffed animals or humanizing (friending) behaviors.  Anyway, I asked him what his doggie was named.  He said, “LoveBook” (must be what he thought we were saying with M’s "LoveBug”).  Picture scrunched brows and quizzical expressions on our faces.  I told him that it sounded just like M’s name, and he should make his a different name.  He protested, screeched and flapped.  But M and I persisted.  We kept up with funny suggestions (Herbert, Sailboat, Jaws, Easter Bunny, Shaggy and the like) until he calmed down, laughed and got involved in our discussion.  He chose one after we got into more serious “normal” names (we wore him down, lol).  His doggie’s name was officially “Spot”.  I know, totally unoriginal - but more socially acceptable in my mind than LoveBook (sounds a bit naughty, ewwww).  So Spot he was…

…But G showed me up as usual.  Silly Mama!

Today I asked them to tell Daddy their Happy Napper names.  G exclaimed, “Spotted!"

Hilarious!  He puts his G stamp on it always.  Gotta love it.  This is sure to fall into the ranks of familyisms, those events or terms that aren’t truly understandable or funny until you get the “backstory”. 

Spotted he is, dearest G! 

 

If you’re not familiar with Happy Nappers, you must not watch kid’s tv.  It’s on every commercial break, I think.  The song pops into my head at random times: gas station, bottle returns, mowing lawn.  I need a life.   

https://www.happynapper.com/?mid=1072641

 

IEPs According to Dr. Suess

BY Cameo Van Zandt

Do you like these IEPs?

I do not like these IEPs

I do not like them, Jeeze Louise

We test, we check

we plan, we meet

but nothing ever seems complete.

Would you, could you

like the form?

I do not like the form I see.

Not page 1, not 2, not 3.

Another change,

a brand new box, I think we all

Have lost our rocks.

Could you all meet here or there?

We could not all meet here or there.

We cannot all fit anywhere.

Not in a room

Not in a hall

There seems to be no space at all.

Would you, could you meet again?

I cannot meet again next week

No lunch, no prep

Please hear me speak.

No, not at dusk and not at dawn

At 4 p.m. I should be gone.

Could you hear while all speak out?

Would you write the words they spout?

I could not hear, I would not write

This does not need to be a fight.

Sign here, date there,

Mark this, check that,

Beware the student’s ad-vo-cat(e).

You do not like them

so you say

Try it again! Try it again!

and then you may.

If you let me be,

I’ll try again

and you will see.

Say!

I almost like these IEPs

I think I’ll write 6,003.

And I will practice day and night

Until they say

"You’ve got it right.

By Cameo Van Zandt

Find Cameo on Facebook page,

“You know you’ve got a child with autism when…” https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/112333318804090/

In a nighttime show of mosquito bites, scrapes, bruises and scars from a fun summer day….

G, counting:

“Ouch, ouch, ouch…I have 21 bruises  on my legs!”

 

Sister M, looking closely:

“G, that’s chocolate ice cream drips!”

I tripped over a thrown throw rug (moved to vacuum), and bashed my toe smack(!) into the corner of a kitchen cabinet.  I howled quite a bit, and iced it for 5 minutes, then got back to business.  As I walked around the library later I felt foolish for limping.  What a baby, I thought.  I cooked dinner with a minimum of steps in the kitchen, still babying my toe.  At the dinner table I slid off my shoes.  As I turned to get out of my chair, I noticed my swollen, bruised baby toe.  We made a big deal out of how puffy and purple it was and everyone came to see the spectacle of the ugly overblown digit.  No wonder I was limping and in pain, I exclaimed.

Later as I went upstairs to supervise evening shower and pajama routine, I noticed my toe had turned much darker, actually black.  I saw G and said, “Look G, my toe is getting really dark.  Look at my bruise!” 

G looked at my toe, and quick as lightning, stomped on it, and turned to run into the bathroom. What?  It was so quick I wondered for a split second if it really happened. My brain rushed to take in all the information: serious expression, not playful.  Not scared, he’d seen it earlier.  Not mad, he was in great spirits. 

Simultaneously, I yelped very loudly, as you can imagine. 

G’s reaction was just as surreal as his action.  He ran to the stair top to yell, “It’s ok, I jumped on Mom’s toe.  It’s my fault.  It’s ok, everyone!”   Our stairs are in the middle of our 2 story entryway, and we frequently yell out from there to someone on the 1st floor.  We were all on the 2nd floor, which he knew.  There was no reason to yell there because we were all within earshot of my LOUD cries. 

I asked G, exasperated and frustrated, “Why did you do that? What made you do that?”

“I don’t know.”

Neither do I.  How to figure this one out?  How to not worry that he might do that to someone else some day.  How to figure out how to explain it when he clearly did it as an impulse reaction.  I’ll revisit it, try to work it into a learning experience of how to be gentle and loving when someone is hurt, which of course he already knows and practices.  What made this scenario different?

I’m baffled.  Some actions and behaviors are not going to fit into a neat box.  Try as I may, logic and predictability often do not dictate G’s behavior or instincts.  They can’t be explained.  I must give it up, quash my curiosity and use that energy towards preventing it from happening again.  My sweet G would not hurt a thing intentionally.  

I’d so love a G user manual, preferably one that includes social stories for G’s triple-cracked, always-on-broken-power-switch itouch (I don’t know how it’s working, a true miracle!).  With full body armor and Motrin for me.  An aide, housekeeper, laundress and masseuse would work quite nicely too.  I’ll cook, mama-taxi, give G play therapy.  Oops- now I’m in la-la land.    Dreams are free!

I’ll settle for assurance that he won’t do this to anyone else, never hurt anyone.  Remotely.

On the plus side, purple is my most favorite color.  I didn’t take photos, but after our little incident, my toe took on a horribly dark eggplant hue and a red circle formed at the base of the toe.  I got an exam/xray to check if it was shattered.  It’s fine, just a simple break.  This photo is 2 days after, still wearing flip flops, no limping.  Too late, I ‘d already finished, G wanted me to wear purple nail polish because it would look “very beautiful with my purple toe”. 

 

Facebook. 

Whatever did we do for entertainment before this real-time, real-people reality showplace at our fingertips, at our whim?  I gain so much support, inspiration and information from my Perky “All in a Day’s Quirks” profile community. Autism parenting can be incredibly isolating.  Sharing and caring have helped me through the toughest times of my life.

My personal “P” profile allows me to stay connected with friends and family and keep a foot planted in a parallel reality.  My BA (Before Autism) “P” facebook community knew me before my jumpy-worried-stressed-overly-serious-exhausted-frustrated demeanor of late.  

Who needs reality tv?  You gotta love a place where you can escape to get "poked" by your:

• 7th grade son’s ex-girlfriend’s mom
• melancholy boss from a college internship
• a sarcastic cat, like her marvelous mama
• haute hairdresser I wish I could afford
• first heartbreak - no worries, I’m over it
• neighbor that you only see on facebook
• smooth sultry singer cousin/soul sista
• adoption social worker whom I adore
• college prof who made all the girls swoon -though I was dutifully focused on sketches
• grade school BFF (and entire family)
• crazy cartoonist
• daughter’s favorite coach
• Player who’s “Facebook Official” relationships are too numerous to count
• Look-at-me-having-fun-are you-jealous self portraitist
• “friend” that you really can’t stand but “friend-ed” because they’re your friend’s friend
• friend’s friend who has the same zany sense of humor so you “friend-ed” but haven’t met   
• funny faraway friend whose entire family can hang a spoon from their noses
• former neighbor with sizzling pole dance instructor career
• cousin-in-law’s neighbor’s job share partner who has a child with autism
• Under-employed friend with 3K+ fb “friends” who proclaims, “I’m never on facebook”
• magnificent muralist
• party-like-a-rockstar recruiter
• Crush from 80’s,+ his charming gay partner
• ex-fiance's failed 12-step program sponsor
• groovin’ world music radio host
• pimply kid from middle school voted most likely to get into a pyramid scheme
• White Rain big hair babe from middle school
• super-fine “party in the back” mullet dude from high school
• hippie chick who spent 1980-83 stoned
• quarter-bounce/euchre HS primo hostess
• fellow alumnus who admitted he doesn’t recall much from college (including you)
• dental hygienist who suggested laughing gas because “it’s better than sex”
• friend’s illegitimate daughter’s illegitimate child’s estranged baby-daddy
• wickedly rude goad monster who plays victim in love relationships
• Mafioso wise-guy, no photos please
• classic car connoisseur with a fierce Napoleon complex
• aunt’s conservative cleaning lady
• geographically-challenged Mensa Man
• proud parent of piercing/tattoo artist extraordinaire
• playgroup-mom-turned-swinger, TMI!
• stalker-esque person you block from everything but are afraid to unfriend (Thank goodness for privacy settings!)
• 3rd cousin twice-removed’s realtor niece
• Home party mompreneur who posted 50x/day until you blocked her, sorry
• Uber-judgemental fundamentalist with up-to-the-minute hateful diatribes
• G’s OT goddess from 3 years ago but isn’t covered by new crap insurance
• a brilliant gazillionaire
• famously talented socially inept plumber
• decades-ago "friend with benefits"
• a happy horse
• Autism Warriors soulmates who light up facebook in the wee hours.

Truth: I enjoy each and every member of my personal facebook community of friends for their encouragement, laughs and wisdom they share - or strictly entertainment value.   Know-it-all-Nesbit, Debbie Downer, Wild Wayne, Pretty Profile Pix Pam, Information Ike, Sharyl Share-it-all, Defacedbook Don, Political Paul, Regina Rant, Laurie Links, Best Blog Benny, Inspiration Isa or my besties – you rock my facebook world! 

Small Print:

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, creatures or facebook friends, living or dead, is purely coincidental.    Mostly.  You know who you are…shhhhhh.

 

Perky’s Daily Quirk (PDQ)

I loaded up the compost pile with debris from pruning and trimming the garden.  As I went to grab the last 2 stalks from our yucca plants, G protested,

“No!  I want to save those!”

“Why, what are you going to do with them?” I asked, incredulously.

 

“Well, I’ll take them for a walk, then play a game with them. After that I’ll take them swimming, then maybe for another walk…”

Oh dear.  This after a fun family day and playdate with a friend from school.  Just when I think his social skills are improving, he makes friends with a dead plant.  Just gotta laugh.

Yucca-yucca-yucca.    I couldn’t resist.

 

Love it! Welcome to my new segment. Do you have a daily-ism to share? Share it!

 

Huge Strides for Autism Wandering Awareness

A new medical code takes aim at a behavior that puts kids at risk, parents on high alert http://www.childmind.org/en/posts/articles/2011-7-27-autism-and-wandering-risk-kids-worry-parents

More about what the new wandering diagnostic code will achieve: http://www.ageofautism.com/2011/03/keep-americans-with-autism-safe-from-wandering-related-injuries-and-death.html

Great video discussing the recent efforts to raise awareness about Autism Safety and Wandering:

IAN Project Preliminary Findings on Autism-Related Wandering:

http://www.iancommunity.org/cs/ian_research_reports/ian_research_report_elopement

 

Chasing G: Struggles with Our Runner

Know a Runner?  Wanderer?  Eloper?  Flight Risk? 

What do you call yours?

A Runner. That’s what we always called G. I used to joke that he didn’t learn to walk, he got up to run.  “I’m sorry I missed __ (fill in blank),” I’d explain, “I was chasing G.”  I considered naming my blog “Chasing G”.  It works on many levels.  Friends, family, teachers, acquaintances, therapists have all heard me say it countless times.  Everyone. Everywhere. Every time. 

A particularly awkward friend frequently comments with a smirk, “We all wonder why you aren’t as thin as a toothpick, because you’re always chasing G.”  I simply have no words for that.  Of course I agree.  It must be stress hormone-related weight gain, because I do get plenty of exercise chasing G.  I’ve since run from the friendship – wonder why?

Energizer bunny.  G’s running was the 1st sign that something was amiss.  We have a bit of ADHD in our family history, so we were told to keep an eye on it.  But pediatricians, therapists, schools, teachers, friends all brushed aside my concerns with a blanket dismissal, “All toddlers are active.”   But everywhere we took him we’d hear, “He’s so busy!” or “How do you keep up with him?” or “I’m glad I’m past that stage”.   My neighbor used to “joke” that we needed an invisible fence with an embedded chip to “poke” G when he went out of bounds - like they do for pets.   Yikes!  I always respond that he’d keep going anyway.  He’s that driven.  Tunnel G-vision.

Curiosity.  In that same vein, I often described to professionals that G’s behavior was that of a puppy discovering new place; running around from object to object, room to room checking out a new territory.  But thinking back on that, he oddly never checked out PEOPLE.  He’d run towards a dog, a truck, a bird, a leaf, a window, a puppet, a computer, a game, a closed door, an open door, a hallway…but not a person.  Big. Red. Flag. 

Houdini.  G was an escape artist at 2.  We installed baby latches on all cabinets in our house when G was about 9 months and crawling around.  Before we even finished the project we’d done in 2 other homes for our other toddlers (we were semi-pro in the art), he’d figured out how to open them!  We installed deadbolts up high to keep him from escaping, he pulled a stool from the kitchen to unlock it the next day.  A local day care had to install alarms on their doors after G kept slipping out of the classroom.  The owner dubbed them, “G alarms”, and uses the term with his staff to this day.  We installed loud screaming alarms at home, which finally stopped him in his tracks. 

Anxiety.  Effect on parents/caregivers? I refer to it as being on high alert like a medic. But medic I’m not. I’m emotionally bound with love and devotion to this sweet boy. I have other responsibilities. I never, ever get a break. We worry when we’re not with our wanderers, worry in our sleep.  24/7 on high alert.

Am I alone???  Awareness Frustratingly Absent!

Isolation.  Despite reading recently that 92% of autistic people wander, I never came across wandering and elopement as a symptom of autistic behavior in any of my early reading online, articles, books, talks, clinical test forms, etc.  I looked, I asked, I threw up my hands.  The closest I came to it was “impulsive”, and “seeming not to hear when his name is called”, or “always busy”.  Where in all of this literature was this peculiar, dangerous and extremely stressful behavior?  I finally learned via Facebook of all places.  I read a book by Laura Schumaker, author of A Regular Guy: Growing Up With Autism who described her son’s elopement tendencies.  I felt vindicated at last – another mother who understood my terror.  It was also on Facebook that I learned of Sheila Medlam’s son Mason who drowned across the street from her home.  He was 5 like my G.  Then came the big news story of Nadia Bloom, who wandered away and was found after 3 days in a Florida swamp.  After these national news stories, more media attention was given to autism elopement.  I began to notice an increase in information about wandering, location devices for autism elopement, and other news stories of children who’ve come into danger or died from wandering accidents. 

Awareness.  I was invited and was instantly moved to take the IAN survey on wandering.  I was amazed at the story the survey questions told.  Obviously other parents were concerned about the exact behaviors that I was, or the questions wouldn’t be included in this carefully formulated research study.  I rejoiced in the fact that I wasn’t alone.  That may sound a bit twisted - I certainly don’t wish this upon anyone - but I was truly relieved that I wasn’t dealing with an anomaly.  Elopement is a common symptom of autism; but not widely known, documented or discussed.  I decided that I needed to help raise awareness in any small way.  I answered the survey frankly, with details.  The IAN Project survey has helped advocates to get Wandering a diagnostic code for physicians and health care.  What a boon!  If 1 other parent, doctor or caregiver realizes the dangers, makes the connection, or takes safety measures because of this important milestone, it will make a difference.  Let’s help head off tragedy, prevent grief. 

Save lives.  Save families.

Safety First.  For the sake of G, we’ve had to make difficult decisions.  Each year we join a group of old friends for a family weekend at a Lake Huron cottage.  Because the cottage is across a busy 2 lane highway from the beach, my husband and I take turns alternate years staying home with G for the weekend while the other takes the older 2 children.  It tears me up inside to deprive him of an experience which I know he’ll enjoy, a tradition that will shape his childhood as it has my other 2 children.  But it’s smartest for his safety and our stress level. Recently we had to pull G out of an inclusion program he’d looked forward to for months because security measures were loose, despite our repeated pleas to staff about G’s safety needs.  We’ve made the decision not to go to sensory overload spiking events like amusement parks or water parks with G until/if he stops running. Even when we split up and a parent is 1:1 with G, he takes off and gets lost in an instant. All 5 of us have a difficult time rounding him up when he gets plugged in.  We can’t take chances with our kiddos’ safety.  Why tempt disaster?  

G gives no warnings, he’s just gone without a look backwards.  No words, sign language, visual cues, signs or rules stop him.  Social stories work logically and with repetition, but evaporate into thin air when he’s intrigued by a distraction. 

It takes a village.  For months this year I fought vehemently with district administration to employ an aide for G to help him transition into kindergarten.  I’m thrilled that the school staff is on board and flexible.  G’s kindergarten teacher asked for a book so that she could read up on autism to enable her to understand and work with him better – amazing support!  Preparation, guidelines and communication with caregivers is key. 

 

My Autism Wandering Prevention Safety Tips:

I dress G in bright bold - often patterned shirts to help us locate him in a crowd

Dress all family members in the same color/type clothing or accessory when visiting a crowded venue.  Try to think of child’s height/visibility – wear matching flip flops, tie bright yarn on belt loops, carry identical water bottle, etc.  This helps the entire family locate each other.

Take a digital photo of child upon arrival at a crowded event.  This helps others recall your lost child or to help spot them.

Split up with others, ask for help searching for your child

Prep on the way to an event by going over safety rules: #1 is always tell caregiver if you want to go somewhere (good luck with that)

Give the child a venue map or create a scavenger hunt or shopping list to keep their focus

Try to pair up wanderer with a buddy

Upon arriving at an event, set up a safety spot (sensory free, if possible) to meet if anyone gets lost. When overloaded at school, G often flees to an empty commons area and sits in a window looking outside (see above photo).  Running is self preservation, pure and simple instinct. These kids are pretty smart when it comes to knowing what they need and what to avoid.  It’s when we get in their way to make them conform that brings on meltdowns.  Hence the term, “flight or fight”.  Imagine being miserably sick with the stomach flu in a room full of screaming babies – you’d run quick or push your way out! 

Label clothing, make sure child knows their name, parent name, address and phone #. 

If nonverbal, use id card or id product, such as:

http://www.whosshoesid.com/

http://www.safetytat.com/ 

 

Helpful safety resources:

http://awaare.org/safetymaterials.htm

http://www.nationalautismassociation.org/pdf/autism_wandering_FULL%20SHEET%20BROCHURE.pdf

http://www.lifeprotekt.com/

http://www.lojack.com/safetynet/Pages/index.aspx

http://www.autismriskmanagement.com/

http://www.webmd.com/brain/brain-disorders-injuries-9/prevent-wandering

http://www.pollyklaas.org/enews-archive/2011-enews/wristband-safety-for-you.html?gclid=COHDjbfvr6oCFRHGKgod6C5h9w

 

Additional Information and Help for Autism Wandering and Elopement

http://awaare.org/

 

After leaving G’s “Bike Camp”, PEAC’s at-your-own-pace bike riding/safety summer course, I had a quick errand to run.  While driving through downtown Ann Arbor, MI, I suddenly slammed on my brakes, alerting G out of his itouch reverie. 
G, “Whoa, what happened?”
I explained to him that a Scooter Bike from oncoming traffic had pulled right in front of me to make a left turn. Then she made a face and yelled something at me.
“What was she thinking?!?  If I had not stopped, we would’ve hit her!” I finished.  "She needs a bike safety course!"

G in an amazed voice, “Are we in New York?” 
Love the randomism, another one that has me shaking my head, wondering where that connection came from...maybe a movie? 

More about PEAC: http://allinadaysquirks.blogspot.com/2011/06/peac-performance.html

Perky’s Daily Quirk (PDQ).

As we waited at the front door for N and M’s camp carpool, I realized G was too quiet in the kitchen where I’d left him.  Sure enough…

  G when he saw my face, “What??? I wanted these purple things, but I didn’t know how to do it.”

LOL.  Nice try, kiddo.  Yuck!  He was licking his whole hand and digging in the bag. 

Note to self: next time we make Koolaid, put away the sugar immediately!  A brand new 5 lb. bag!  Glad it’s fairly cheap.

 

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Perky’s Daily Quirk (PDQ)
G wanted to show his PEAC "Bike Camp" teacher his craft from “PBS” (VBS, Vacation Bible School)…


He did so well today, he's getting a bit ahead of himself, maybe the sharp shades lend him confidence.    It’s all about looking cool, lol. 

He tried starting himself, and did.  But as always, when he falls/fails, he takes a few steps back.  His instructor quickly got him back on track and instead had him work on turns with an obstacle course today.  PEAC has magic crumple cones that bounce right back into shape.  Brilliant! 
I adore his intense concentration. 
Go G!

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More about PEAC: http://allinadaysquirks.blogspot.com/2011/06/peac-performance.html

 

Perky’s Daily Quirk (PDQ).

Temps are forecasted to be in the high 90’s all week.  When I made out my grocery and meal plan for the week, I decided cool had to rule.  No oven or stove usage, just micro or fridge items.  Yesterday I made a large batch of my family pleaser Tuna Noodle Salad.  It fits the bill as having a little from each food group when I serve it with fresh fruit. 

Today as we came in for a quick lunch, M grabbed the noodle salad from the fridge, “I’m starving!  I’m making a tuna noodle salad sandwich.”  LOL, now that’s some serious carb loading!  Of course I stopped her, but my lucky skinny mini M could pull it off.

http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/summertime-tuna-pasta-salad-57792.aspx

 

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Perky’s Daily Quirk (PDQ). 

I made up my own acronym for quick snippets of life that I’ve coined daily-isms. Growing up, we said PDQ (Pretty Darn Quick) to mean: get a move on!  Here goes, can’t wait to share the lively fun of our daily-isms via PDQ.

G, “Owww, something just bit my tooth!” 

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Garbage trucks have been G’s obsession since birth it seems.  I’m pretty sure we have every garbage truck toy under $50 made in the last 5 years, and a couple really cool pricey ones too (thanks, GodMom Aunt Karen, Aunt Chris and Santa!).  Luckily for us, the Garbage Truck market has grown with G.  A very happy coincidence indeed.  With the push for “green” living, greater emphasis is put upon recycling, saving the planet, and living less toxic lives.  Thus, the garbage and recycle truck market has exploded.  In a good sense, it can be a great learning tool for ecology.  G’s interest goes waaaaaay beyond that.  G has plenty of real Garbage Trucks to watch (worship).  They’re EVERYWHERE!!!!!!  Why did the boy cross the road?  To get to the next trash can!   I used to be an avid garage sale-r, but after a few incidents, necessity dictated that I go only when G is at school.  At the height of his obsession, I caught him inspecting peoples’ garbage cans, actually lifting the lids and peeking in while I checked out a sale.  Strangers!  Though, does that distinction really matter when discussing garbage?  Yikes!  We dare not go for neighborhood walks on trash days, G will insist upon checking out the various garbage cans. We live in a semi-rural area where we pay private companies for our trash removal and recycling.  What that means is lucky G sees garbage trucks and bins of all styles, shapes and colors 3 days a week.  His excitement when pink trash cans appeared (for Breast Cancer Awareness) was stellar, comparable to Christmas morning.  Really.  I’m a bit bummed that we didn’t get one.  During one preschool year I had to alter our schedule to allow extra time for G to wait and watch our truck.  After they finished our court, we’d jump in the car and travel behind them so that G could watch the whole process.  Holiday weeks became a nightmare – trash pickup was totally off schedule and we often missed the trucks on their altered schedules. For 2 years, no matter what we were doing, all household/play activity had to halt for 10 minutes while G trailed the truck’s path via windows throughout the house or running out to the front yard to watch.  I had to draw the line at following random garbage trucks while out driving.  I/we endured many a loud and heartbreaking tantrum as G mourned a missed opportunity. 

When G began his love affair with the giant green trucks, I was hard-pressed to find any Gahbig Twuck (GT) items.  So I searched online - and lo and behold – discovered YouTube (squeals of delight and thunderous applause).  I was in awe of the huge variety of clips dedicated to garbage that YouTube offered - over 25,000!!!  What???  There are videos of garbage trucks doing nothing more than collecting trash, dumping it, operating the truck, driving to the next home or business - over a million hits!  Amazing. 

My G was mesmerized and replayed them over and over.  He became a YouTube junkman junkie at 2.  I lost my iTouch to G’s vast WasteLand.     It was worth it to see him happy and seated to allow for a quick shower or housework.  G quickly learned how to search for vids and save them to favorites for a quick GT fix.  Convenient!  He was elated to find other kids who had the same love (fixation) as him.  There are currently over 1000 GT toy clips on YouTube.  Wow, I really outta video G with his fleet.  He watches 9 minute videos of kids playing with their GT’s.  Some toy trucks make noises, move via batteries, others are totally kid-powered. 

G found vids with veteran garbage men or truck companies showing off new or vintage trucks, bragging a about their features and stats like a classic car owner.  I was dumbfounded by the vast world of GT lovers.  I fought it for a short while, for decorum sake (ewwww), then finally gave in. 

G was happy enough without actual GT toys.  He made everything in his day relate to GT’s.  This was the only imagination he showed at this point.  He’d scoop his cereal into the bowl, with GT sound effects.  He’d load blocks, Legos, rocks, acorns, paper from our shredder (a vacuuming nightmare!) mud, sand, grapes, coins, you name it – into trucks or large Gladware or box “trucks”; use cups, plastic laundry caps, small boxes as the trash cans.  He did this EVERYWHERE. 

Sandcastles?  Nope.  Makeshift garbage collection on vacation.  Note the intensity of his play.  He gives Dad instructions on how he’ll dump it, and as seen in the last pic, obviously it’s not carried out the way he planned it.  Epic fail.

When we started OT, no matter what plan his therapist made, he’d somehow work in a baby blocks toy that he’d turned into a garbage loading operation.   She eventually, patiently gave in (as we all did)and incorporated his obsession into his therapy theme.  He attended wonderfully, until it was time to transition into something non-trash oriented.  Sigh.  We love you, fun Mrs. Cake! 

G could be seen in the neighborhood and around town in a world of his own, TrashTown, G’s GreenScene, GarbageRUs, etc.  We had to laugh or we’d be mortified.  He’d act out elaborate trash pickup scenarios, using shhhhh (brakes) rmmmm (gears, acceleration) and beep beep beeps (back-ups).       

G’s custom “G the Garbage Guy” Costume,  he carried a small trash can for trick-or-treating.  Living the dream! 

During one instance I was walking with G as he travelled the neighborhood acting out his imaginary garbage truck route.  He’d stop, pretend to open a mailbox (stand-in trash can).  He really did open the first few mailboxes until I told him he’d be arrested.  Drastic I know, but he’s darn headstrong and prone to outrageous tantrums.  He repeatedly played out his dramatic scene of lifting the imaginary trash cans, loading them on the lifter, emptying in GT, pushing buttons, hitting smasher, returning garbage cans, driving off, etc.  No deviation from the process, no words, just sweeping arm motions, body shifts, sound effects.  EVERY. HOUSE. IN A 1 MILE CIRCLE OF OUR NEIGHBORHOOD!  Our next door neighbor who’s a real sweetie joined us about 3/4’s way through and it took 30 mins. to get home.  She patiently came along and chatted with me (at me, actually).  I was concentrated on G’s safety, leading an unwilling G back to the sidewalk after each pretend garbage dump, instead of travelling the street like he wanted to, “But I’m a Gahbig Twuck!”  Bless her for coming along and trying to have a nice neighborly talk.  We’re lucky to have supportive, kind neighbors.

G was potty trained using my “Garbage Out, Garbage In” System(patent pending, all rights reserved, trademark, copyright, pinky swear, cross my heart, etc.)  LOL.  After 2 years of failed Potty Training schemes, I scoured every department store toy aisle and toy store in a 30 mile radius and bought a few Hot Wheels/Matchbox special edition $5 GT jobbies, bought a few from Ebay (shout out to the nice toy dealer in Ohio who threw in a few extras that he found at a toy show).  I put them and a few other cool treasures into an large empty clear pretzel bin.  I displayed it prominently, talked it up, and began giving him his choice each time he went potty with no accident Yup, he got big $3-$5 prizes – several the first day, but he was trained in a few days.  I gave him LOTS of H2O to drink.  I got a Bruder truck catalog and let him peruse it while on the potty with a promise of getting one when he went 1 week with no accidents, pee and poop.  Sure enough, we made a big ordeal out of our trip to the toy store, got it wrapped beautifully (only available at pricey posh stores = free wrap) just so he could rip it open in the car on the way home and push all the buttons.  Worked, as nothing else had worked just in time for his 4th birthday….what a long haul…pun totally intended.

I used to print off GT line drawings from the web for him to color.  He wanted dozens, and would scribble them all green and hang them everywhere.  He constantly wanted his big bro N to draw them for him.  G has never liked drawing or writing until this year.  Handwriting OT finally sunk in enough to motivate him and get him comfortable writing (not well, but that will come).  His first drawing – not people or houses or animals or cars like most kids start out with.  A Garbage Truck.  With Garbage Cans and recycling bins.  Of course he included the big WM (Waste Management) logo on the side, his fave.

I could write a full book just on G’s obsession with Garbage Trucks (I capitalize because we hold them in such reverence at our home).  Friends and neighbors tell him that they think of G every time they see a garbage truck.  Cute or ick?  I wouldn’t say I embrace it, but I just have to accept it.  Hooray for garbage!

Garbage Trucks Galore:  Toys, fun books, DVD’s, wooden model build-it kits by Melissa and Doug

http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=sr_pg_2?rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Amatchbox+garbage+truck&page=2&keywords=matchbox+garbage+truck&ie=UTF8&qid=1310621319#/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_13?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=garbage+truck&sprefix=garbage+truck&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Agarbage+truck