All in a Day's Quirks

Morning silliness sends G off to school in perky spirits. Crabby, uncooperative, slow? Just add laughs to spark a happy note.

He asked for a bowl of cereal... :)

Sibs rock + G Challenge Winner! #13 is dedicated to my teens, because when they were young, they'd say being Autism Sibling brings "bad luck" at times. Nowadays, they roll with the best ASD teams I know. I'd love to deliver all the solutions, yet all I can do is offer positivity.

My 15 year old wanted to see a movie with his new girlfriend over mid-winter break. Big sis and I took G to see Spongebob while N and his girl went on their own. We filled up on popcorn and snacks so much that nobody wanted to go to eat. 

Shopping at Target was voted in. I promise I didn't suggest it, but who am I to argue? The kids perused the toy section, then wandered the books, snacks - landing in technology. I joyfully pranced off with my buggy. G kept hunting me down with new items he "had to have". M would soon follow, trailing G. After much debate, G finally chose a big nerf blaster to spend his Christmas cash. The kids regretfully ended their videos in the games section; once again I'd "closed" Target.

On the drive back to hang out at our house, the teens all pitched in to uncase G's new treasure. In the silence of their feverish project, G proclaimed to N's date,

" I love you more

than ALL of Nick's girlfriends!"

Smooth move, little Broski! 

We all cracked up after a brief uncomfortable pause, but I'm sure N was glad it was dark in the car. (Blush) :)

N's date survived the G Challenge, even taking a day trip with us to a fun museum later in the week. She jumped in and helped find my wandering (running) curious kiddo when I missed him a few times, without judgment. She exuded life and great humor and listened to G (and me) belt out several songs in our 2 hour road trip. She even joined in singing and got N to sing. What a trooper!

Autism Awareness is who we are. Anyone who becomes involved with us on a regular basis sees the challenges, the fun, the embarrassment, the LOVE. 

Welcome friend, to our Perky Quirks. My N is special because he's himself; so proud of my accomplished, smart, funny, hard-working volunteer and leader. My N is extraordinary because he's lived in a home filled with all that Autism brings. He's helped his brother achieve major milestones. We have DAILY struggles. My kids weather these difficulties too young, but we don't have options. Instead it strengthens us, toughens us, deepens us, challenges us. Fulfills us at times; depletes us more often. 

We do share a strong bond of Autism Code. We high five each other on small feats and outrageous wins and offer respite when the going gets tough. My kids have been mini-caretakers since G began running. My amazing kids are siblings first; yet strong advocates, diligent therapists, loving counselors. My kids are my children first; helpers and respite more often than I'd like. G's hot buttons are crowds, sensory, new environments, homework. Unfortunately, most outsiders see G in this heightened social/public state. His sensory meltdowns and erratic behaviors are what his sibs contend with in ALL family/social situations. We must take turns monitoring G and work as TeamASD. The frustration gets to me; I can't imagine the feelings of helplessness and humiliation for a teen sibling. Can you remember being a teen? EVERYTHING IS EMBARASSING! (especially with families!) Kudos to my great teens, Super Autism Sibs. They lead the way to awareness through outreach programs, but they soldier through daily drills and promote acceptance in our community and family. My teens are top advocates. Priceless. 

I so wish I could find a teen support group for N/M. They grew immensely in their 3 years with SibShops, which ended at age 12. Sadly, teen sibs are likely the most needy when it comes to expressing their frustrations and working through to positive solutions. I'm a natural coach/counselor; I can usually bug them until they share, I have my ways. But my kids could really BENEFIT from a strong outside outlet. I'm certain they have issues with me or that they don't want to share with me, understandably.

Call Out to someone: 

How do I start a ASD Sibs Teen Support Group?

Are there books, resources to share? Please do. I'll update with research/resources.

Until then, we spread awareness one over-stimulating event and embarrassing yet sweet comment at a time. Love my family and our collective Perky Quirks!

My deepest apologies to N's sweet date and dear N; G expresses himself honestly but awkwardly. Thumbs up from the whole fam!

Finally, thanks G for shining your sparkling gifts upon our family. We adore you!

Because he wanted to see the gizmo that made the robot blink on his lunchbox.

The best part is G's patch job.
Did he think Mom wouldn't notice? :)

Online shopping for an overpriced lunchbox in March...

Good read on common questions adoptive parents get asked and how they hurt:

http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-not-say-adoptive-parents/?socsrc=pmmtw

I find it flabbergasting how many strangers or distant acquaintances ask intrusive/rude questions about adoption. What I've gotten most often is: 

Quizzical stare at my fair complexion and back to my bronzed beauties,

"Are they yours?"

In a perfect world, I'd always be prepared with a snappy response. 
#1: Why? Do I look like a kidnapper?
#2: Why? Do you want to know?
#3: Why? Do you call my children "they"?
#4: Why? Do you ignore that "they" are right here?
#5: Why? Do you think you're creeping me out?

My fave fantasy comeback scenario to this comment; never had the guts...

Nosie Rosie, pointing to my kids:
"Are they yours?"

Me, pointing to her boobs:
"Are they yours?"

Truly, is that not on rank with this brazen personal question? Call it tit for tat, wink wink.

While these questions are difficult to navigate for us adoptive parents -
Please folks,
I beg you to have
a bit of compassion
and NOT ask
insensitive questions
in front of
MY CHILDREN.
yes, they're mine.
period.

Looking for adoption info, resources, advice, support?
Bring it! :)

Say Cheese
Snow Day 2015, G's idea of a super snow day pose. 
Hot cocoa and bath followed. :)

Mr. BIGSTUFF:
Who do you think you are?

ASD can be frustrating.
Tiny issues get blown into cyclones of distress. At times, everything is BIGSTUFF.

My sweet kiddo tries so hard; a tender loving heart. Infinitely heartbreaking to watch anxiety color his days.

New specs. Mid-winter break.
G's ready for a fresh outlook.
Let's focus on the smallstuff. 

Better yet, don't sweat any "stuff"

Focus on ability, love, acceptance, hope.

Color me in! :D

Put your socks on!
Put your socks on!
Put your socks on!
It's cold outside!
Put your socks on!
Put your socks on!
Put your socks on!
It's cold inside!
Put your socks on!
Put your socks on!
Put your socks on!

Shower time:
Take off your socks!
Take off your socks!
Take off your socks!
Take off your socks!

Um...really?
He found a use for his socks.

Oof! Got a laugh at my sanctimonious self last night. Feeling fine using my official lint safety tools to protect my family. Laundry flowing, getting things DONE after 2 extra snowdays filled the household with glee and wet snowgear. I tidy up, pick lint off my shirt - only to spy my shirt is backwards. For the past 16 hours. 

ASD PARENT FLYING FAIL!
Ahh, those hasty mornings when my focus is 110% G-centered. I likely grabbed it out of the dryer and changed in the laundry room while finding socks for G that morning, listening carefully to G's morning dialogue, carrying misc. items which likely were forgotten, texting my teens, etc.

Funniest part? The only one awake so late with me to share this goof with wouldn't get the full meaning. G would simply add it to the Mom-ism File.

I know I've done better. 

I choose to laugh at the things which I cannot change. Acceptance? Daily, with zeal and passion.

Should I start a new ASD awareness campaign? Forget ice buckets, ribbons, colors -  show your flaws/hacks for ASD!
Selfie bad hair day, spills, routine fails, etc. Share a giggle with yourself. Remember that you once had it together. Picture yourself on your most impressive day. Delight in the differences.

For hire:
Bright quirky Aspie jokester prodigy and perky silly Mom team of comics for immediate hire, limited bookings. Late Night is our forte'. Call today.

With G's idiosyncratic lens and my wacky creative slant, G and I make an odd yet symbiotic stand-up team. At least we crack ourselves up. ;) G makes up puns, jokes, witticisms constantly. Since he was low verbal in his tot/preschool years, he worked his humor skills for kudos. I've always used humor as positive intervention. For me, inward->outward.

Occasionally now, he'll make his entrance meekishly. This is my cue to "edit" the joke he's trying to form.

Example
Scene: G building snowman, 20 feet away, highly-charged post school.

G: What did one book say to another book on a hot day?
Me: ?
G: It's feeling quite "summary" in here

I laughed, then took out my tiny mental red crayon to push his idea. I suggested to G the joke would be funnier would if it weren't 2 books, but something directly related to "summary".

I explained him also that because it was a spelling joke, it performs better in written form.

He pondered.

G Edited, 1st try, 60 seconds. Lightning fast for his verbal processing issues...

G: What did the back cover of a book say to the front cover on a hot day?
Me: ?
G: It's feeling quite "summary" back here.

Bravo, kiddo! His joke now makes sense and stands alone without the spelling...a thinker.

Humor to me is defined by thinking outside of the box. Taking a mundane idea and cranking the sublime. Logic -> Illogical. This we do with great flourish and joy in our home. If I go 15 minutes without laughing, at least internally, it's a rare and tragic event. What a delightful gift my coping skill has been.

G takes the ovation though. Through humor, he has broken his verbal barrier, perfected his physical humor through family antics and years of summer-long drama camp. His developing language, processing, logic and social skills converged when he jumped headfirst into using language science as a means to use humor towards social goals. Comedy enhances all of his goals.

Communication. Physical/Expessive Skills. Social Skills. Logic. Laughs.

That's all.

What else matters? 7 years ago I would've fainted if I'd known G would travel so far within and outside his skirmish of acronyms, a lucky few. I'm thankful for all that he is.

As abovementioned, I live to laugh. Works for PerkyMama! Bravo G, thanks family. Together we make it snappy!

On order at our library: Front cover, back cover including "summary". ;)

Read it? Au-some reviews! Looking forward to it.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400032717/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_-fWYub0NCEATP

Joyful morning "welcome to bus stop!" chat with a new neighbor, I attempted to look casual in my acronym maelstrom. 

Through our frosty car windows, across G - in full Michigan snow gear, plus foot deep backpack - shihtzu Cookie scratching to jump out...

Eeeeeeeeeeee! Verbal squeak phase. ASD ADHD oral sensory, check.

Carb Crave CSI Catastrophe, location of Swedish Fish stash comprimised. Asperger's/OCD, check.

Swimming wiggling Swedish Fish out in the frigid air. ADHD, check.

Sharky devouring of schools of them. ASD oral carb crave smashing sensory, check.

Ceaselessly citing fish facts. ASD + OCD, check.

Teasing the dog out the window with said fish. OCD, check.

Getting his stim on. ASD, check.

Sputtering "hello" to neighbor on command through gummy red hot mess. Sensory ick, check.

Forgetting gloves. ADD, check.

Being so overloaded he can't verbalize his need. Anxiety, check.

Using his eyes to guide me to his gloves. Tools, check.

Flagging down the driver who missed him. Tools in high gear, check.

Ready for school? Yikes!

Dear kind laughing neighbor, amazingly cool bus driver, G's busmates, schoolmates, Awesome Au-some teacher extraordinaire, and my G:

You rock! Breakfast dessert of champions, not. Blame me. I  made my choice in our morning panic (while smiling, asking neighbor about their newborn, wishing I wasn't wearing my teen's ski hat). G hunted out my sugar stash and chomped away (really only about 3, Chewy = slow BONUS!)

"ASD Eyes", our parental ASD filtering system, see all.

Sometimes we must pick our fish to fry. :/ Better to send G off with a happy flappy Swedish Fishface than an angry frustrated Stinkface. 

Good Luck! ♡

Love,
De-fish-ent ASD Parent
w/sense of humor

P.S. New neighbor, welcome to the hood! You're in for an education by default. :)

Leaving a friend's home today, G stood looking out the door, fully geared from ankles up while we searched high and low for his socks which he inevitably always peels off. We finally gave up the hunt and told him to put his boots on without socks, which he also does 50% time in his haste.

"Nah, I'm fine!" G was out the door in a flash. Minus socks. Minus boots. Running/jumping into the Michigan snow/ice. We all simultaneously bolted and called him in.

Eek!

Tonight after all others were nestled in slumber and we had time to discuss it, I asked G why he ran out barefoot this morning.
"I just wanted to."
Did he forget he didn't have shoes on?
"I just wanted to."
Was he trying to make us laugh?
"I just wanted to."
Were you trying to freak us out?
"I just wanted to."
I sighed.
Exasperated, "What? So you just decided you wanted to feel the snow or something?

"YES! I just wanted to!"

Kerplunk! Hit me over the head with a brick! Way to really listen with your ASD ears, Mama!
S E N S O R Y
G is a sensory seeker naturally; sensory avoider notasmuch. His impulsive sensory seeking isn't logical, planned. It's just: GO!
Snow=Go
No stops between.

I forget at times, fooled by G's high functioning, highly verbal, bright mind. He has incredible focus at school, thanks to ADHD meds and much therapy over 7 years since age 2. He excels and is gifted with a stellar memory. His interests, vocabulary, demeanor when speaking in his "reporting mode" is remarkably mature.
Yet...his sensory impulses are too difficult to control. Similar to a preschooler, his wildcard behavior is perplexing; at such polar odds with the logical practical mind G has.

 
I marvel at the dichotomy that ASD demonstrates daily.

I told G that when he grows up and gets a job, please don't stop at the door on the way to lunch one day, take off his shoes and go running in the snow. He understands the humor.

Then again, maybe we all need an icy plunge to put a zing in our footsteps.
Sensory Seeking =
Curiosity. Zest. Joy.
Pretty great stuff. If we could skip/regulate the dangerous impulses, I'm in.

Not. Just. Another Manic Panic Monday.
Transition to reality. Sigh. Groan. Screech! Most weeks, school routine/schedule gets off to a rocky start for our ASD kiddos. G frets about Monday all day Sunday, often Saturday.

G had a wonderful start and a perfect transition this Monday.

I'm learning: plenty of sleep, prep* and enough time to dance, sing and laugh. G loves to mimic Pitbull's "Fireball", just the one word, sung in raspy low key. Love it! I love to "wigglewigglewigglewiggle" while of course, wiggling.
:D

*Shout out to Big Broski for helping Mom's Manic Panic Monday. My neatnik laid out all of G's school prep items. Wowza! My kids rock my world! I'm blessed!

Wake up all your senses, little Fireball!

Dear Santa,
I would like a puppy named Cookie. And that's it.
Love, G
December 2013

Santa Mama delivered. ;)

What a difference our first pet has made! "Cookie Dough" brings us together through laughter, snuggles and play. G taught her the joys of jacuzzi baths and long showers.  Now whenever any 5 of us in the fam turns on the tub, she comes scratching her way in within seconds. She adores water! G also taught her to swim in our pool last summer, patiently guiding her around the pool the way we taught each of our kiddos. Sweet! He adores her! Why did we ever wait so long?

Thanks Santa, from all of us! Fun year! ♡

Told G about this study that shows broccoli can help his worries (ASD symptoms). 

"Actually, that's awesome because broccoli actually happens to be in my top 10 foods. Top 5, actually."  

Can you see why some friends affectionately nicknamed G, "Actually"?

Actively Pinteresting Broccoli recipes...

...actually.

Feel free to share recipes! ;)

http://questioning-answers.blogspot.com/2014/10/yes-folks-broccoli-chemical-impacts-on-autism-presentation.html?m=1

Flutter on, SuperStar!
Happy Dance to a strike at disco bowling fundraiser.

Welcome Autism Hacks!
I'm kicking off a new series part of my New Year's resolution to lighten spirits, bring giggles, joy to ASD Social Media.
Share your quirks:
Submit photos, stories, ideas and I'll whip up a meme with creds. :)
patticakeb2002@yahoo.com

Welcome Autism Hacks!
I'm kicking off a new series part of my New Year's resolution to lighten spirits, bring giggles, joy to ASD Social Media.
Share your quirks:
Submit photos, stories, ideas and I'll whip up a meme with creds. :)
patticakeb2002@yahoo.com

"Look Mom, God's sprinkling fairy dust on our world!"
I loved G's poetic observation, until he broke out in, "Do you want to build a snowman?...", loud enough to make our sweet pup howl.
Yes, even 9 year old boys are afflicted with Frozen Mania. It's going to be a long Michigan winter. ;)

Welcome Autism Hacks!
I'm kicking off a new series part of my New Year's resolution to lighten spirits, bring giggles, joy to ASD Social Media.
Share your quirks:
Submit photos, stories, ideas and I'll whip up a meme with creds. :)
patticakeb2002@yahoo.com

3 balls + weeding time = happy puppy. Not nearly as satisfying as ASD sensory OT, but this PerkyMama savors a break. http://t.co/I2HRvJrI7k

Check out @PerkyQuirks's Tweet: https://twitter.com/PerkyQuirks/status/512230840948903936