"Mom, you forgot to Give Meeeeeeeee my MEDS!"
Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha. ~Robert Brault
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Birth of a Miracle
Saturday, November 5, 2011
PDQ #21
I'm not certain if it's the new meds, but he has had a few potty accidents. Shocking because he hasn't for a long long time. Years. He's avoiding potty needs at school, which is a worry for me. He runs home from the busstop and flies into the bathroom each day. He began to have accidents and peed his bed 3 times in 1 week. He even pooped his pants twice! He has become constipated, never an issue for him. I'm pretty certain it's from holding it in each day.
Along with this, G's also getting night frights. Some may be caused from the Halloween factor, but he's not really exposed to scary things. Many nights he trudges down to sleep on a couch or gets in bed with us. Tonight was such a night. I asked him to let me spread a blanket under him in case he had an accident.
Ever so seriously, G replied, "Well, but I only have accidents on garbage truck day."
As my kids would shout, "Random!!!"
Saturday, October 8, 2011
G’s Career Plan
Random Car Chat
G: Sigh….I wish I had a wishing well so I could be older.
Me: Why!????!
G: So I could have a job.
Me: Wow! What kind of job?
G: I want to work at a lib-a-rar-y.
Me: What would you do there?
G: Make books and stuff like that.
Me: Like write books or put them together?
G: Pause… Both. Write books AND make them.
Thought balloon over my grinning face: Yippee!
Our trips to the library all these years are working! And I thought all he was interested in there was the fun special programs, puzzles, puppets, and computer games. I often have to distract him over to the book section or drag him away from the computers to get books. He loves books, but computers just for kids are alluring. And hey, you get to wear the cool headphones.
G ran ahead while I got N and M situated in a teen study skills class last night. He always zooms to the computers, looks around to see what others are playing, then checks out the interesting looking sites himself. Hmmm…nope, not there. I felt that old instinctual panic zing through my body, quickening my step. I found him digging intently through shelves of picture books. He brought each carefully selected gem to a growing pile on the table. When finished, he excitedly showed me each book. Then he strode off purposefully, picked out a puzzle and sat down to play. He picked out dvds when he noticed me looking.
He didn’t go to the computers to zone out for a full 35 minutes. AMAZING.
Self-check out + G: So. On. It. Nifty and fun, but I miss the casual chatting with desk clerks. I’m afraid when he grows up, librarians may be a distant memory. A casualty of electronic media, instant/gotta have it now/right here/day or night/NOW. Disposable.
Noooooooo!
There’s a good one for your wishing well, G.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Magical Miracle Round
Ahhh, finally a sunny fall day with a crisp breeze blowing leaves under our crunching footsteps. On the walk home from the bus stop, I decided to put off kids finishing homework until after our evening activities and instead sneak up to the park for some sunny fun.
G spun around and around on the Miracle Round (merry go round), zipping across the park before we even reached to unlatch our seatbelts. He soon grew bored of the slow parental pushing skills, and hopped down to push the little girl, working hard and grunting. The parents saw their opportunity and backed away slowly to sit and cuddle around a cup of java on a nearby bench. I followed suit, minus the java and cuddling partner. My older kids were off doing their own older version of goal-oriented play, mostly chasing and screaming. I was ready for G’s Magical Miracle Round Show.
G “allowed” his little friend to have a turn to push. But after 2 minutes, he harrumphed and slid off, stating matter-of-factly,
“I can push better than you.”
Those classic autism (anti)social skills in action. Aghast, I covered my face. I peeked through fingers when I heard no response.
The patient girl jumped on and waited for him to push. 2-way tolerance! Yippee! G happily pushed for several minutes, jumping on now and then to enjoy the ride himself. I began to watch the leaves, settling back into the cold metal bench.
G jumped off at last and said, “C’mon!” to his little friend. She followed him around on a few playground activities before they approached the standing Teeter-Totter of Horror. Yes, this equipment is many times more dangerous than an old-fashioned teeter-totter, which was deemed too hazardous in most playgrounds many years ago. It’s tons of fun, until someone gets hurt. You can almost feel the collective cringe, hear the small gasp of breath, jaw clenching from caregivers in the park when children climb up to ride this fun monster (I mean toy). I walked over to supervise, worried that G would jump off and send her careening down/off, interrupting her adorably huddled parents. No worries. The pair teetered calmly.
The girl said, “We have one of these, but not really one of these at my playground where I come from.”
I asked, “Oh you don’t live here?”
“Nope, I live all the way in (her town).”
I laughed, thinking how a town 10 miles away can seem a lifetime of waiting in the car for a child. In Michigan, it could take an hour, winding around lakes, parks and farms. She then recited her address to us, which made me shudder. This openness was both good and bad, in the realm of Stranger Danger.
G gleefully, “Mom, this is medicine!”
??? I quizzically wondered where this random thought came from. My brain went into hyper-G-search mode, whisking about for G translation like a scientist figuring out a formula for a teeter totter launch, considering all the variables, testing theories. In the field, a child waiting, no calculator.
Enjoyment = Sunshine?
Enjoyment = Park Visit?
Enjoyment = Teeter Totter?
Enjoyment = His New Friend?
Or was it all of it? He can be amazingly profound. Other times, completely nonsensical. My job was deciphering which was which, when was when, who was who. What? Where’ my magic wand?
Helpless, I finally asked, “You’re having fun?”
“Yes!” he spat out, exasperated. “She’s the same age as me. This is medicine. Med-i-cine!” If he knew how to spell it, he’d be spitting that out too, I’m certain.
The sweet girl looked up just as my brow crinkled and corrected, “Madison.”
Madison was medicine. She happily played with my funny G, ignoring his differences, patiently asserting herself when necessary.
Once again, I learn from G to simplify. I often try so hard to figure out his meaning, his motivation, his emotion, his needs…that I forget to sit back and let it work itself out. My panic comes from years of anticipating his movement as a whirling dervish, playing offense to his meddling curiosity and scenes of a search team spreading out to find our lightning speed escapist. With G calmer, less impulsive, I can chill a bit. I can attempt to match, to compare, to meld his reality to mine, but why frustrate myself?
Maybe it’s the artist, the poet, the wordsmith in me trying to stretch his words to fit a deeper meaning, a stronger insight into his inner workings. Our autistic kids aren’t cookie cutter, in fact I believe most NT kids aren’t either. We just try to squeeze them in where they fit, categorize them neatly – or mold them to an ideal we’ve created. Admit it, we do it even with ourselves. I can’t seem to find my fit, I’m always changing, evolving. Life is too transient, disposable – to settle in and fit comfortably (or I’m AD/HD myself, teehee).
My strong constant is my ever-present bond with my kids; our common denominator, love.
I always seem to simplify to this equation:
Magic = Love
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Brought to You By the Letter B
Multitasking fun…G and I dragged a bunch of board games to the deck so that we could enjoy the gorgeous fall day while N and M did their homework. I was close enough to help with homework, but quiet enough to sit at the same table. In between turns, I framed up N and M’s school pix. G oft-times lingers to ponder random subjects, count his letters, read the words on the board, etc. Glancing at his letters, I threw in a suggestion (or 22) as well.
Finally, “G, WHAT are you looking for?” grumbled impatient sis who was supposed to be doing math.
“B!”
“B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-!”
Just then, the oven timer beeped, creating sweet harmony with G’s semi-automatic clip of B’s. I pranced inside to check the lavish frozen (shhhhh!) mac n’ cheese bubbling happily in the oven. Perfect, I added a layer of cheddar jack to make a fine crust and reset the timer. I threw on some veggies and returned outside. N had retreated inside to escape G’s “B!”, which he continued at frenzied decibels.
I calmly got down and maneuvered my body, my face to gaze into his, “What word are you trying to spell – I’ll help.”
“B!”, pulling away.
“What word do you need B for?”, re-connecting.
“Bra! B-R-A!”
“BRA-BRA-BRA-BRA-BRA-BRA-BRA-BRA-BRA-BRA!”
This sent us all into hysterics, which made G grumpy. But it sent him into action. He stole a B from another word on the board, “Bank” and made his word.
“Bra!”
I don’t even bother to check if the neighbors hear anymore. G makes himself known.
Still giggling, I sputtered,
“How do you know how to spell bra!?!?”
His standard reply,
“I dunno, I just do.”
…and he walked away, bored now with his completed task.
The mystery continues.
I can’t wait to see what today’s vocabulary word is.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
I Say Dyspraxia, You Say Dysfunctional.
Send good karma, prayers and positive vibes...
Read the Autism Insurance Bills being voted on today in Michigan. Type in: 414-415 bill search box to read content.
All good. I decided to see if other votes are on the table for our humble cause.
I typed in key word "autism".
Bill 050: Insurance; health; coverage for autism spectrum disorder, mental health, and substance abuse treatment; provide that coverage cannot be more restrictive than coverage for medical treatment. Amends 1956 PA 218 (MCL 500.100 - 500.8302) by adding sec. 3406s.
Most adults have been touched by substance abuse at least once. We’ve all seen it played out in movies, on uncles, neighbors, friends. It’s a grotesque, heartbreaking experience. I’ve seen the ravages of substance abuse on family. I’ve felt the dysfunctional environment of growing up in the shadow of addiction. I know MANY who have had/should have substance abuse treatment and wholly support that effort…
…but REALLY??????
Who wrote this bill –
are they on crack?
Must we be in the same bill, category?
Autism = Addiction?
No comparison.
Our kids don't choose autism.
Our kids can’t just say no!
Our kids can’t check in and dry out.
There’s no patch for autism.
Our kids can't go cold turkey.
I’m flaming and irked, and not from a hot flash.
Meanwhile, back to the song…
I say Apraxia, you say Amphetamine.
Let’s call the whole thing off.
??????
NO, no, no. Whatever it takes.
Pray for the bills to pass.
Then pass the pipe.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Rose-Colored (Sun)Glasses
Mama Perks
Today brought some sibling squabble irritations that exasperated me. I dug deep to maintain cool and move on following a 5 minute “discussion” with my 12 year old, N. Then I took some sage advice to heart. I can’t find the actual quote it comes from, but the gist is…
When a child misbehaves, it’s not always anger or punishment he needs; but he needs a hug, kindness, attention.
I applied this to N today and it made me feel much much better than the lecture did…without a smidgeon of guilt. I took him on an errand while the other 2 were at an activity, instead of running off myself. That brief trip with him to the drizzly Farmer’s Market renewed his attitude and brightened his mood. We played a game on my phone together in the parking lot for 10 minutes, laughing and whooping over our scores. We ran inside through the rain, shaking off drips from the downpour. Our spirits refreshed - all smiles and sunshine. Win-win. Psyche!
Hugs are the universal medicine. ~Unknown
The 2 clashing sibs gave me sweet little gems to counteract their frustrating behavior.
We went to G’s Kindergarten open House last night and he talked all morning about how much fun it was. At the bus stop, G grabbed my hand, peeked up for a split second and invited, “Come on, why don’t you come with me to school today?” In a sweet tone, not whiny or needy or scared. Spontaneous affection, eye contact, and a beautiful sentiment that tells me he wants ME to be with him. Triple bonus! Totally out of the blue. A tear spiller moment.
Later, at the dinner table my husband told me my new glasses look nice (another rarity – the day I got them he didn’t notice and the change is fairly drastic). I then exclaimed that I was thrilled to finally have Transitions (the type that turns into sunglasses). I continued, “Can you believe I’m 47 (shhhh 39!) and this is the first time I treated myself to transition lenses? I love them!”
Tween N, who half the time pretends he isn’t listening and/or interested asked, “Really?!? You mean you got them for me and M for our glasses, but didn’t get them for you? AND we have them on our sports glasses too!” Wow, epiphany! He realized that my kiddos really do come first. How cool is that?
I raised my eyebrows, “Oh yeah, I guess so.” I guess it was a no-brainer for them – playing outside, outdoor sports, visibility, protection, etc. But I didn’t apply it to myself until now. I’m outside just as much, glued to G’s side like a body guard (essentially my title), at their games, events, playing in the back yard, swimming. I suppose I can count on slowing down the crinkle face progress as a side benefit to being able to enjoy sunny days and less eye strain. See, I’m still justifying them for myself, aren’t I? teehee
Thanks boys, I’m so going to focus on these charming sentiments. I‘ll pull the memories out and hug them to my chest, my heart when I need a lift, some love or when I’m upset by misbehavin’ kiddos. Tonight they’re at the top of the day’s list of wonderment and love.
Words to live by now, before they grow, while I still can…
If I had my child to raise over again:
I'd build self-esteem first and the house later
I'd finger paint more and point the finger less
I would do less correcting and more connecting
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes
I would care to know less and know to care more
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars
I'd do more hugging and less tugging
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often
I would be firm less often and affirm much more
I'd model less about the love of power
And more about the power of love.
Diane Loomans
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Spread the Word to End The Word ("R" Word)
You have to see this inspiring message. What a powerful tribute from a loving sister.
From Dictionary.com
re·tard [ree-tahrd] noun
1. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine. 2. Slang: Disparaging a. a mentally retarded person b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.
Ashamed I’m sad to say that I grew up when saying that word was just a common phrase, like gross, bogue, yuck, silly, funny, weird, goofy, etc. We used it not so much as name calling, but more as a descriptive word for something we didn’t like or couldn’t understand. I admit to slipping occasionally when I'm with a childhood friend - the old lingo gushes out.
Now I'm hyper-aware, I catch myself:
“that’s re-....uh...ridiculous."
It's a word most people say without realizing. They surely cannot understand how they hurt people with special needs, their friends and families.
Retard Reality Everyone should realize that disability does not discriminate....rich, poor, ugly, beautiful, fat, skinny, kind, mean, funny, sad, brown, white, old, young. It can appear from nowhere to touch your life, consume your family. It shows no mercy, and - unlike lightning - often strikes twice, thrice and more.
Disability barges in with fists flying to assault families with tears, heartache, despair, anxiety, confusion, struggles, exhaustion, isolation.
But disability also brings along a surprise treasure chest filled with smiles, joy, wonder, delight, pride, laughter, simplicity, beauty, growth, inspiration, knowledge, depth, hope and loads of love.
From Dictionary.com
re·tard /rɪˈtÉ‘rd,ˈri
tɑrd [ri-tahrd]
verb (used with object) 1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
verb (used without object) 2. to be delayed
Retard the R-word With a little faith and cultivation, we can help teach others to learn the correct meaning of retard (noun) and help to retard (verb) its misuse.
Let's turn that frown upside down.
Please spread the word to end the word.
Make your pledge now to STOP!
Invite your friends.
https://www.facebook.com/EndtheWord?ref=ts&sk=wall
Catch yourself before you think/say the R-word. Use my trick - instead say, “ridiculous”. It fits without the hurt.
Pass it along.
Monday, September 12, 2011
PDQ #20
Perky’s Daily Quirks #20
Posting about my Sunshine Girl 2 days in a row!
M cracked us up with a new QuirkWord today. She started middle school this year, and is following in her big bro’s footsteps to join in choir. I’m so thrilled for them – so much fun! Who doesn’t enjoy practicing singing? She can carry her instrument with her wherever she goes.
Fresh off the bus, M excitedly exclaimed,
“Mom, we had our voice tested today in choir.
I’m an altoad!”
Hilarious.
The poor girl had to endure giggles from me AND big Bro…
She’s a great sport, and an even better singer.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
PDQ #19 Curly Girly
After getting disgusted for the gazillionth time, I finally realized that I could save myself some grief if I asked a simple favor. I asked my daughter M to wipe off her sink with a damp paper towel after she finished primping each day. I explained to her that her beautiful long dark hair gets everywhere in the bathroom when she brushes it.
She nodded and said,
Let's hope not, sweetie!
She must be hanging out with G too much, she's got her own Quirkwords.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Back on OT Track
Return to life behind the 2-way glass...
G started back on Occupational Therapy (OT) after his summer off. In summertime, he went to TKD 4x/week, Bike Camp (PEAC) 2x/week, swimming daily and lots of outdoor play.
BUT...there's just no substitute for professional therapy. I try to do it on my own, and can do a fair job. But his OT spots things that I'd never think of; she's trained to look at the mechanics of his body and functionality. She also has years of training on best practices/techniques, therapy plans and goal setting.
The only fine motor skills we worked on over summer was playing itouch games (no joke, I believe they help!), chalk drawings, squeezing the trigger on squirt guns during hours of sibling water warfare and random crafts. Writing is such a struggle, I forgot how hard it is for him. I'm thankful that his AD/HD meds give him concentration superpowers. Before meds, he never wanted to (aka screeched and ran) pick up a pencil, marker, crayon, chalk, scissors - nothing that caused pressure or used pincer grasp! Still now, he's adverse to using a fork or spoon, and would rather use his hands. Crafts and writing are limited to days when the stars are in the right alignment, lol. When he's motivated, he's extremely intent. It may take him 5 minutes to cut a 4" circle, but he sticks with it. Another miracle of pharmacotherapy.
He worked with some silly putty for hand strength. On the way home he told me his favorite OT part was "smashing the pudding". :)
Great to back to it! Go G!
PDQ #18
G: Yum,this pop tastes like choc-o-late!
Me: Really? What's in it?
G: Sprite and le-mon-ade.
Me: What? That makes chocolate?
G: Yup. I put in root beer, that's what makes it taste like choc-o-late!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Kinder-Guarding G: Off to a Great Start
First day jitters…As I checked my phone for the 16th time in 2 hours, the email notification twinkled. I opened the browser to see that G’s kindergarten teacher sent an email – yikes! I opened it, heart racing.
G’s having a wonderful day!
Short and simple, the sweetest words I could have hoped for. Woot! Biggest. Smile. Ever. I quickly forwarded the note to my husband, with a “Wow!”. I also sent his teacher a quick reply to tell her how appreciative I was for the update, so glad he was doing good!
Heavy sigh of relief, relax your shoulders, Mama Quirky.
G got off the bus with a giant grin and began twirling his coat around, running ahead of the pack to get home. The first thing he did when he got inside was to pull out a drawing he made in school. He explained that they were to draw their favorite thing (about school I think). He drew himself with a book and a racetrack…quite obviously they don’t have garbage trucks! Love his 3 hairs.
G then ran off to play Wii…or so I thought. He yelled out that he’d made a new best friend in kindergarten. I was ecstatic! That was all he was going to share, but what he shared was amazing. He spent the next hour creating Mii’s on the Wii. This was an activity he used to do a long time ago, when he was much less verbal. I indulged him because it’s people-oriented and creative. At times we had hundreds of odd looking little Mii’s, he’d put beards on foreheads and moustaches on girls, always dressed in green. Always good for entertainment, except when he’d change other player’s Mii’s and get his sibs in a snit. Can you see me? I’m not wearing my favorite purple (Daddy is!), but I’m the only blonde - interesting. Apparently parental Mii’s are sacred from G’s changes, though I’ve only played Wii once. lol
But today he re-created his kindergarten classmates, starting with his new best friend.
Awesome.
Tech Talk: Here’s Your Magic Wand…shhhh
So many friends say they can’t figure out Facebook, don’t know how to re-post a status or copy a photo.
There’s no magic wand, in fact, it’s REALLY simple. I hope that I can help de-mystify a couple tech actions. Below are the most requested action items from friends.
Let me know if I can provide additional clues…
Copy, paste:
1. Select text by clicking and dragging over text you want to copy.
2. Let go of mouse button when your text/item is selected.
3. Push keyboard keys Control (Ctrl) and letter C together at the same time. (this is keyboard shortcut for copy in all pc programs)
4. Without pushing mouse button, navigate mouse to your Facebook status bar, document, or wherever you want it placed.
5. Click mouse button 6. Push keyboard keys Control (Ctrl) and V (this is keyboard shortcut for paste in all pc programs)
Voila!
1. Navigate your mouse to an image or photo without pushing mouse button
2. Push opposite mouse key (yes, that other button is there for good reasons!)
3. Holding right button, scroll down to “Save Picture” and click
4. A menu will appear with your computer’s files
5. Pick a file and double click to save.
6. Now you have it!
7. Beware of copyright infringement.
More itty bitty tips:
Save working files often: Control (Ctrl) and S
Undo: My personal favorite, more people should use it, lol. Control (Ctrl) and Z
When all else fails…
Go to Google, Yahoo, Bing or your favorite search engine and type in your question.
Example:
How do I copy a status on Facebook?
You’ll be amazed at how many tutorials are at your fingertips.
YouTube is another great place to search those questions, and you can watch a video tutorial to learn. This method is wonderful for visual or oral learners.
Everything I Learned About Copying and Pasting I Learned After Design School (Tech Backstory)
Remember these archaic telephone modems? I got into computers shortly after college when graphics started going digital. The first computer I worked on was an ancient black and white Mac with a screen just a wee bit bigger than a slice of bread. First project: I laid out a 200+ page tech catalog on that baby Mac. Hilarious! Actually, not so much. I got carpal tunnel from all the scrolling before anyone knew what carpal tunnel was.
Back then, Macs and Pc’s were polar opposites, and communication between the 2 was horribly glitchy. As a result, I got to know many, many IT guys (yup, an-all male field then, at least in my experience). I watched, asked questions and learned. I had a tech direct hotline (not really, but it sometimes seemed that way). Some techs groaned when I called (no caller ID then either, they couldn’t avoid me) and a couple techs I got to know so well from sheer continuity, we dated. Very risky, thinking back on it. I wouldn’t want to piss them off – they were my lifeline to clients, printers and media everywhere!
A couple of firms I worked for also paid for computer training courses. This was where I learned the most valuable long-term tricks. These days digital graphics is a pretty seamless production. But…if the world’s computer screens ever go black, I can do the whole process the messy, prehistoric drawing board method. I miss those chemical smells, ink globs, rubylith overlays. Not.
That’s it.
No magic…
Happy Sharing!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
By the #'s
Mommy had a bit of a perky bonus today. I took some time for basic maintenance/updating on my blog, facebook and emails. Blogger has a new format - they must be trying to keep up with Facebook, who changes formats and privacy options it seems monthly.
In the midst of checking out the new changes, I saw they have enhanced the detail area of site hit demographics (or I just never delved into it that far). You can now see countries and number of hits from each, etc., no personal info of course (though no doubt big budget marketers have that capability). Kinda cool to look at periodically I suppose.
Anyway, I saw my hit counter and my eyes did a double take. The number was about 6K more than my hit counter showed. I updated it to reflect the Blogger stat, of course they're correct. I've been meaning to check into it, because my hit counter sends a weekly update and each day is listed as having 0 visits, which of course I knew was wrong based on email/facebook comments and live/phone discussions.
So...my next project is to search for a reliable hit counter that won't send a barrage of spam and email. Coolness factor is optional but of course preferred. :)
Any suggestions?
Kinder-Guarding G (and me)
Yikes. Yikes. Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes!
I drove G for his 1st official day so that I could be sure that he’s settled in, to meet his parapro…and yes, photos opps.
On the way into school G said, “Uh-oh, you forgot my bus tag!”
I moaned, “Oh no! Well I can pick you up after school.”
He said, “No, I know what bus I’m on, it’s bus __.”
“Really? Well, I‘ll ask your teacher to be sure.”
I confessed to his teacher that G discovered that I forgot his bus tag. She assured me that she has a list and he will make it on the right bus. I must have asked her 5 times, “Are you sure, I can pick him up, no problem!” I saw a stack of forms on her desk and realized that I forgot to bring his form. His teacher joked, “G will probably help remind you to send it tomorrow.” I’m so glad she’s seen me/knew me when I had it together, knew which end was up. I was a Room Mom with my older kids for her class, and worked in her classroom often. Pre-G, getting out the door was not quite the process it is now. Eating, brushing teeth, getting dressed, learning to tie shoes, most everything was simpler. Different, not better – as Temple Grandin says.
I was thrilled upon meeting G’s Parapro to discover that she’s friendly, approachable and well-experienced. She asked if I had specific concerns (and listened!). She mentioned that she’s frequently worked with demanding students at our local special needs school. She “gets it”, a lucky break. This makes a world of difference to me. During the difficult negotiations to obtain an aide for G, the school admin stressed repeatedly that the “Parent Aide” would not be a ParaPro, it would be a parent with some ASD training. I pictured a babysitting-type scenario. G’s aide called herself a “Sub ParaPro”, a much better, more professional fit to ease/facilitate G’s transition into NT environment and keep him safe. Such a weight off my mind. I look forward to hearing how he does and discussing his needs and progress further.
I got G going with an activity, then let her come in as I backed off. I slunk around the classroom taking photos of G - no need for slinking – he never looked up at me. I reluctantly pulled myself away. Outside his classroom, tears burned my eyes. I sniffled, put on a brave face and went into the office to make some arrangements for my volunteer work. G’s principal came in and asked me how I was doing. I tried not to look at her face. I swallowed, choked and blurted, “I’m-ok-but-I’m-trying-to hold-it-together-and-I-better-not-talk-about-it–or-I’ll-cry–again-but-thank-you-I-can’t-look-at-you.”
She laughed and quipped, “ Ok, I think you’re set on the caffeine!”
Thank you dear lady, for making me laugh! I think she’s been through this a few thousand times…including twice before with me.
I remember how proud I was when I dropped off my older children in this same classroom. I knew that I’d done my job by preparing my kiddos for independence, giving them confidence and getting them revved up about how fun and cool school and learning would be for them. This is the one child that I wish upon wish would cry and feel sad that I’m leaving…
In the end, it is what it is. Our family could have it so much worse, as many do. We appreciate our blessings, feel privileged to have him in our lives. He means the world to our family, he teaches us in infinite ways. I know that he loves me in the here and now. I’m fortunate that he allows affection. He makes us laugh daily with his quirks and silliness. We’re doing the best we can to teach him life skills, social skills, family, friends, LOVE.
I feel fairly confident that G’s in safe care at school. I don’t feel like I have to post myself out in the parking lot for G-surveillance to be certain he doesn’t bolt out the door; head for the hills, the highway, the lake, the train, the garbage truck, the fire truck. Not to say that I relaxed for a moment this afternoon. I considered plans for my first official freedom of the school year. I tossed around ideas to go shopping, call friends, watch a favorite DVR-ed show, clean the house (considered for all of about 3 seconds – duh – no therapy value there today, unless I cry into a sponge). Instead…well, you see what I did instead.
+ I treated myself
to a tiny chocolate
(ok 3 -shhhh)
Incidentally, I checked his forgotten bus tag when I got home. Sure enough, he’s on bus __, just like he told me. Thanks for keeping me on track, smart boy…somebody has to!